How do I talk to parents about a difficult student or child?

Visit www.understandingarcher.com/teacher-tips-talking-with-parents for ways for teachers to approach difficult conversations with parents of students. Building a relationship is key and starting conversations early helps prevent parents from being caught off guard and may help them to better understand your concerns. Teachers should be upfront with parents about developmental delays or concerns relating to students because early intervention is crucial.

Teacher Tips:
How to talk with parents about their child’s challenges

Teachers are on the front line of advocating for a child’s development. This page offers guidance for teachers on communicating effectively with parents, especially regarding a young child who is demonstrating developmental delays. The core philosophy is to establish a partnership built on respect, hope, and shared goals, and avoid surprise, shame, or wrongly diagnosing a child.

Before Conferences: Build a Partnership
Start communicating with parents about a child's progress well before the formal conference.

EARLY & CONSISTENT INPUT

Don't wait until conferences to share concerns. Start sharing observations about daily behaviors early on.
- Goal: Prevent parents from being overwhelmed, surprised, or caught off guard at conference time. This also allows them to start their own research.

ACKNOWLEDGE STRENGTHS

Be sure to tell parents about their child’s strengths & successes.
- Goal: Affirm that the child is valued in your classroom.

CONNECT & RESPECT

Find ways to connect with the parent to establish mutual respect.
- Goal: Ensure parents know that you care about their child and want to to work together to help their child grow.

During Conferences:
Compassionate Communication
Create collaboration through shared understanding and goals.

MEET THEM WHERE THEY ARE

Ask Questions & Listen: Let parents share about their child. They are the experts on their own child.
Get to Know Them: Understand their desires and concerns. Acknowledge that other factors may be influencing the child's behavior or performance.

AVOID SHAME & BUILD CONFIDENCE

Avoid Shame: Don’t be judgmental. Avoid using statements that convey shame or suggest ineffective parenting.
Note the positives: Recognize what the parents are doing to support their child and acknowledge their efforts.

FRAME CHALLENGES AS OPPORTUNITY

Acknowledge Growth: Make a point of recognizing the child's strengths and noting any progress, even if small.
Provide Hope: Show that the child is teachable, and that there is a path to future development.
Gentle Framing: Frame developmental delays or learning difficulties as an opportunity for growth.

During Conferences:
Create a Partnership
Work together for the child's development and success.

SHARED EXPERTISE

Establish that the parent is the expert on their child, and that you are able provide information on that specific developmental age group and the class expectations.

SHARED GOALS

Create shared goals for the child, focusing on:
- Development and growth.
- Success in the current grade.
- Readiness for the next grade.
- Building confidence in the child.

During Conferences:
Next Steps
Referring parents to a licensed professional may be needed.

MEDICAL CONCERNS:

Refer parents to their pediatrician for medical-related concerns.

BEHAVIORAL, COGNITIVE, OR ACADEMIC CONCERNS:

Parents may benefit from reaching out to a psychologist or psychological associate for guidance.
- Why a Psychologist? They can provide insight and recommendations for the best interventions.

During Conferences:
What to Avoid
Leave some conversations to licensed professionals.

AVOID DIAGNOSING

Leave diagnosis to a licensed professional. Instead, focus on specific skills, concerns or behaviors.

AVOID PRESCRIBING THERAPIES

Avoid referring parents to specific therapies that may not be the best fit. There can be different reasons for similar behaviors. Referring the parents to a professional (pediatrician, psychologist) ensures clarity on appropriate, effective interventions, and can prevent costly, ineffective therapies that delay appropriate help.

AVOID “WAIT & SEE”

A child with developmental delays typically requires a change in approach to make progress. Waiting to share your concerns with parents only delays the child getting help and can cause them to fall further behind their peers.

KEY MESSAGES:

The child is not broken.

•

The child has value.

•

You are not giving up on them.

Analogies

These examples help explain child development and early intervention.

THE BRICK WALL

Child development is similar to building a brick wall. Foundational bricks must be placed first before the next level of bricks can be added. Delays with placing early, foundational bricks slows the building of the rest of the wall. These bricks represent developmental skills. If a child is demonstrating a delay in development, early intervention is the key to building a solid foundation for a child, and allowing later skills to be built sooner and stronger.

DEVELOPMENTAL GAP

Children grow and develop at individual rates. However, schools and learning levels are often based on an average rate of how children acquire skills. Children in any given grade are measured against this average, which constantly increases as children age. If a child is delayed in developing a skill, they will have a gap in their level of skills compared to the average child. Without intervention, that gap will continue to grow, widening the difference between their abilities and those of the other children in their grade level. Targeted and effective interventions can help boost a child’s rate of development and help narrow or close the gap with their peers.

Have more questions?

Reach out to us today for guidance on how to support development in a young child.

Parents may complete our inquiry form and will be directed to a scheduling calendar to set up a call.

Teachers or school staff are encouraged to email Lee at lee@understandingarcher.com with any questions or to set up a phone call.

Please note that to maintain privacy, we will not discuss a specific child by name with anyone other than that child’s parents, unless they provide written consent to do so.

INQUIRE NOW

Teacher Tips: How to talk with parents about their child’s challenges

Before Conferences: Build a Partnership Start communicating with parents about a child's progress well before the formal conference.

During Conferences: Compassionate Communication Create collaboration through shared understanding and goals.

During Conferences: Create a Partnership Work together for the child's development and success.

During Conferences: Next Steps Referring parents to a licensed professional may be needed.

During Conferences: What to Avoid Leave some conversations to licensed professionals.